Stuck.

Im stuck. I have been for years now. It took one friend of mine who visited from Australia to make me realize that i havent changed a bit since we last saw each other some three years ago.

I didnt realize how much it would hurt to hear the words "hindi ka nagbabago". Sure. In one context, pwedeng positive yun. Pero im guilty of the negative. I look the same, i dress the same, i act the same, im still the same. Sa lahat ng magbabarkada nung high school, ako lang talaga ang walang pinagkaiba. I suddenly wondered if there's anything wrong with me. Am i really incapable of change? Am i such a coward? Problema ko kasi, i have this wall. I stick to what i know and never bother going out there. Out there in the world. Laptop ko lang ang kilala ko. No boys. No friends outside of school. When cheska asked what's new with me, i honestly had nothing to say. I ended up saying news about other people...but nothing about myself. Because there's literally nothing to say. 

What the actual fuck is wrong with me???

Someone tell me. 

Someone, please, fix me.